Into the void...

2004-02-26

6:41 p.m.

God. You know, work is so busy lately that I barely have time to think. I haven’t written in my journal for quite some time because it’s work, work, work, school, school, school. When I get home, I’m dead to the world. Actually, I’m dead to world for a long while before I get home. It’s just that I’m able to admit it when I’m home. Poor Rob has to put up with my absolute lack of enthusiasm for breathing. All I want to do at home is sleep.

Sleep. . . .

But alas, I must work. Finally, today I have a moment to stop and breathe. And so, I can take a second to think about where I am right now.

I applied for a few jobs today. It’s probably nothing to even think twice about, but I figure I might as well keep at it. Extra money would be great. Getting out of here would be great. But I don’t want to leave this school until I finish my Masters. Oh, by the way, I’ve recently been officially accepted into the Masters degree program, and since I took so long to apply, I’m already halfway there. So, I’ll be working at this school for at least another year and a half while I finish my Masters. Also, I need to make it to the three-year anniversary of when I started because if you quit before three years, you lose all the contributions the university made to your retirement fund.

That’s my money, dammit.

Rob and I are going to be moving this fall because our apartment has shrunk. I don’t know how the hell we accumulated so much crap, but our apartment is quite literally overflowing and we need more space. I can’t wait until we move. I hate moving, but I’ll be very glad to get out of that tiny apartment.

My god, every time I start to do something, I’m distracted and I start thinking about other things I should do. As soon as I mentioned getting a new apartment, I thought, “I should go look at apartment listings,” and I nearly clicked onto rent.net or bostonapartments.com. I can’t seem to finish anything I start right now because the environment at work lately has been such that we all have twelve things to do at once, and you have to do parts of each thing all at once because everyone wants to know where you stand with their project.

It’s very annoying. I feel totally distracted.

But it’s all going to end soon. Admissions season is coming to a close, and I can focus more heavily on my novel. The book is coming along okay right now. I got stuck for a while, but I think I’ve found my way back in. The only problem now is finding the time to do the research before doing the rest of the writing. I could probably manage to do most of the final writing fairly soon, if it weren’t for the research. I have to research before I can write.

All in all, things are really going relatively smoothly right now. I actually hate to say that, though, because it seems like every time I say that something horrible happens and I’m thrown right back into the pits of despair. All it takes is . . . well, sometimes it doesn’t take anything.

So I guess I should brace myself.

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